Five Years

He has missed so much.

We miss him so much.

Every day.

The weeks pile up without consent.

Left to wonder where the time went. 

Five years

living in the fray.

She has lived longer with him gone than here.

He fades further with each passing year.

Grief refuses to be kept at bay.

Toddler memories don’t keep.

I have helplessly witnessed hers seep

a    w    a    y.

The gaping hole will haunt her in different ways

for always.

A burden I cannot slay.

This I cannot change 

facts I cannot rearrange. 

I have to bear it night and day. 

As a child, she lives in the moment

while I overthink and lament.

Still, she grieves in her own way.

Why her, she pleads, why her Dad?

Why didn’t she get to keep the life she had?

No answer will make her pain go away.

She remembers the last words he spoke

He’d see her in the morning.

But instead she awoke

to the primal screams of my mourning.

Burned into her memory, the horror will stay.

There is nothing I can do or say.

I lift it to God and continue to pray.

Assure her He is with us, come what may.

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